Are You Where You Thought You Would Be?
When I was younger, I was jealous of people who knew at an early age who they wanted to be. Their purpose, drive, and tenacity to just go for it confuse and surprise me even today.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a teacher. I would hold classes in the basement of my family home, complete with a full class roster, a blackboard, my school books, and several imaginary friends. I was a pretty amazing teacher if you ask me.
But my life took a strange turn that started with a series of deaths in my family by the time I was 16. See, my mom was diagnosed with ALS when I was five years old. My father, consumed with the responsibility of caring for my mother, handed over the burden of my caregiving to my grandmother. Unfortunately, she passed away from lung cancer before I turned 10 years old.
Then at the age of 15 came the death of my mother and at age 16 the unexpected death of my father from a heart attack.
My world was torn apart, and I became for lack of a better word, lost.
My life became less about what college I was going to or what I wanted to be when I grew up. It became all about survival - living just step by step like worrying about what I was going to eat for dinner that night or trying to figure out how I was going to get through my day without breaking down. I wasn’t always so conscious about my needs, in fact, I don't think I even knew I had needs, but my life was very much consumed with worrying what my next move was going to be and there was absolutely no room for anything else.
I stayed in my "survival mode" for the next 20 years not having any semblance of a direction, living solely on my intuition and checking whatever boxes I created for myself. It wasn’t until I began therapy, after finding myself in a deep depression, that I began to shift from being a survivor to rediscovering myself and living on purpose.
The most amazing thing about this whole journey is that 9 years after I began my personal transformation, I find myself exactly where I wanted to be. I may not be that teacher that I dreamed of as a little girl with the blackboard and a full roster of students, but I am a coach and teacher to women who dream of becoming a coach themselves and making a massive impact in the world.
So, are you doing what you dreamed of when you were a kid? Or did the Universe throw you a curveball?
I would love to hear your story! Please share it below!